If you want food
don't go to Kiltie
because you'll lose your appetite.
It makes me sick when something orange
has something green alive inside.
Some say food, it is a hunger, an endless, aching need.
I say food that has a halflife
should be kept away from me.
It's the burger that tastes like brillo
with which you could scrub a sink.
It's the meatloaf that weighs sixteen tons
That reminds you how rubbish stinks.
It's the french fry that is so greasy
that it could slide across the floor
and the beef that makes you wonder
if the cow had died before.
When they serve you macaroni
where you find purple lumps
and they telephone the doctor
and bring out the stomach pumps.
Just remember in the summer
after Kiltie's long shut down
there's a morgue in downtown Pittsburgh
where Kiltie victims can be found.
History: This song is really gross. We were hurting for songs this year, so why not pick on Kiltie food?