Pay Your Bill on Time

Written by Heather Newton

Performed 1983
Sung to the Tune of Learn Your Lessons Well

I can see the board of trustess sitting yonder
and they're leaving students terror struck
Inflation's down, but they haven't noticed
and they want twelve hundred extra bucks.
Yyou'd better pay tuition
or forget about admission.
Going broke is a CMU tradition.
Sell your firstborn for that last dime
and if you're smart you'll pay your bill on time.

Any good philanthropist worth his salt
would be apalled at what we've gotta do.
Tuition's going up, sky high, all right,
but where's the money going to???
Not to pay professors.
Not to heat nor feed ya.
Andrew Carnegie where are you when we need ya?
Sell your firstborn for that last dime
and if you're smart you'll pay your bill on time.