The Tech. Police

Performed 1980

Sung to the tune of The Dream Police

Speaking of which, someone brought up the year when sidearms were first issued to Security, and they became "Campus Police". 1980 or thereabouts?

I remember that all of the Security officers used to be nice old guys who couldn't outrun a donut, but they they started transmogrifying into Police Academy dropouts...

Was this also the year that the use of the escort service really started taking off (which probably led to the shuttle buses)?

Someone please correct me if I left out a verse, or didn't get the words quite right [sung to "The Dream Police"]:

[This is may be incomplete. I'll update it when I find my copy. -Ed.]

The Tech Police! They ride around in their vans,
The Tech Police! They carry guns in their pants,
The Tech Police! They sit around on their cans, oh-o-oh...

You know for Warner Hall they are quick to arrive,
But if you need rides home, you will never survive
The night! The night!

Oh I wait until 3
For them to get me.
Ev-ry single time they drive me up the wall...
Those men in Baker Hall...

They're driving home drunk students who can't walk straight, and can't see;
They're chasing rapists in the dark basements of Do-her-ty;
They're breaking up big riots from black discos held at Skibo;
They're picking up the pieces of explosions from volcanoes...

The Tech Police! ...

Well I can't complain, or I'll never get home,
So if you need an escort, they're right by the phone:
2-3 2-3 !

Oh I wait until 3...

The Tech Police! ...